Life & Death

Today marks the 16 year anniversary of the death of Jesse's mom, Debbie. He was only 5 years old when she passed away. Jesse has very little memory of his mom. He was so young when it happened. But he often thinks of what he missed out by not having a mom in his life. Growing up with a single dad most of his young years and a strict step-mother his later years makes him wonder how his life would've been different with his mom there. And I, too, wonder what she was like. I think how much Jesse takes after her in his mannerisms and appearance, and think about what kind of mother-in-law she would be.

Last Sunday, Jim (Jesse's dad) took me & Jesse, and Michael & Kaela and their family to the grave site. He described to us what it was like to come just days before his wife's death and pick out the grave for her. In shock, in tears, and in the pouring rain, he sat underneath a nearby tree and contemplated why he was there. Since then, Jim shared with us the ways that he has seen God use the tragedy for his good. Before she was going to die, Debbie had no relationship with God, but in those last days, she accepted Christ as her Savior. Jim still could not accept that relationship for years to come, but through the consistent prayers of family members, Jim came to have a relationship with God years later. Now, Jim can say with confidence that God loved him and his kids so much that He was willing to take away his wife in order to bring him to a relationship with God. This declaration of God's love was the very reason Jim wanted to bring his sons there with their families. He wanted to remind them to carry the legacy of God's love to their wives and kids.

Despite the weather previously being nice, I stood there under the same tree Jim did years earlier, in the pouring rain, with tears streaming down my face and with my arms wrapped tightly around my husband. I couldn't imagine losing him the way my father-in-law lost his spouse, and it brings tears to my eyes now just thinking about it. However, it only convicts me stronger to embrace every day I have with him. Life is too short to worry about petty arguments and trivial problems. And while it's so easy to think that we are all invincible and that death is decades away, the truth is that you never know how long you'll be here.

It's sad that it often takes a death to remind us what life is all about, but I am comforted by God's sovereignty- to know that He's got a bigger purpose in mind behind even the most difficult things we go through.


(Jesse in his mom's arms)


(The whole family when Jesse was about 3)


(Her site at the cemetary)

A Change of Pace

So after many resumes and interviews, and A LOT of stress, I finally got a new job!Things at the Teen Center have been so awful. With my supervisor going on maternity leave earlier this year, and an interim supervisor in her place, rules have been inconsistent and frustrations high. Once the real supervisor came back, the two began working together causing many new changes. Each woman has a different way of doing things and a different tolerance when things don't go her way. In addition, with all of the changes in policies of our company, it seemed that everyday we came in, we were getting in trouble for something different or being asked to perform another task. We were all feeling like nothing we were doing was good enough. And, when crises came up, the supervisors made them into much bigger deals than necessary and treated us as if we were incompetent. I wanted to walk out so many times, but had to remain calm and mature, holding my frustrations to make the wiser decision. I couldn't quit my job with no idea when something else would come up. So, I continued to apply at various places.I had 2 interviews in one day. one at Hamlin Middle School and one at Sacred Heart hospital. The two were extremely different positions. The middle school position ended up being a detention room monitor- very different than how it was advertised, but I was willing to give it a shot. I figured that it was perhaps a ministry opportunity to work with troubled kids, and that my extensive experience with middle schoolers would serve me well. The interview went great, but I left feeling that I was way over-qualified. Yet, I felt that it might give me a foot into the door and lead to better positions in the school. The other interview was as a secretary in the food department at the hospital. While this position is NOTHING at all what I was looking for, it was offered to me by a friend of mine from church. He is transferring to the new hospital and I would be taking his position at the old hospital. The pay is quadruple what I make now and the medical benefits are fantastic. There were 90 applications for the job, 6 people selected for interviews, and I was the only person to pass both tests that were given to me. I left the interview very unsure of how things went, but my friend called me that night and told me the job was mine, pending an official phone call. At the same time, I got a call from the vice principal at the middle school saying that I did not get the job, but was the top contender and he STRONGLY encouraged me to not only keep applying but to specifically apply for a job at his school because he'd love to work with me. That's a huge compliment from someone who interviews you. And I was left totally torn between the two positions. A job in the middle school is everything that I'm passionate about, but I feared I'd be passing up a great opportunity. The hospital job is nothing I was looking for, but would benefit Jesse and me immensely. I cried a lot and prayed a lot, and in the end, decided that I could always come back to a position in the middle school in the future, and shouldn't pass up the great opportunity offered to me.So, last week, I put in my two week notice at the Teen Center, had 6 shots in my arms as an update for my immunizations to work at the hospital, and began my new employee orientation. Tomorrow I start training in the mornings at the hospital while working my last week at the Teen Center in the afternoons. And by next Monday, I will be working my first full-time job ever (aside from the times I worked 2 part time jobs together).Jesse is uber excited. He's making a list of all of the ways he wants to spend my new income. He initially picked me up and spun me all around the room upon finding out that I was hired. I'm looking forward to seeing how it all pans out and will keep you posted. :-)

1 Year, 2 Very Happy People

Today, Jesse and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. 366 days (leap year) of wedded bliss! We have had such a fantastic year and we celebrated it with a lovely day.We began the day with a late breakfast at IHOP. From there, we went to see the movie "Get Smart" which was really funny. We loved it. Afterwards, we drove over to the Rose Garden. Although the flowers were a little wilted, it was still a beautiful walk. Then, we went to Alton Baker Park to feed the ducks and geese. To be honest, the geese freak me out A LOT! They are extremely aggressive and swarm you at the sight of any food. They get right up in your face and snap at you, hissing too!!! Even though I screamed every now and then and ran away from them, Jesse and I had fun feeding them. We then went home to dress up all fancy-like and headed out to a local Italian restaurant called "Beppe & Gionni's". It is an old house that has been turned into a restaurant. I went there one time about 7 years ago, but hadn't been since, and Jesse had never been. We thought it'd be nice since it was really different and has great food. We enjoyed it very much and then went over to Zenon Cafe for sweet desserts.While we didn't do anything particularly fascinating or unusual, we attempted to spend the day doing things we don't normally do and enjoying each moment. In the end, we had a GREAT day. We enjoyed everything we did and had a great time spending it together. We can't believe 1 year has gone by so quickly, but look forward to everything this next year has in store for us!!!

Update on Us

This will be a short post as I have to be at work in an hour and have yet to get dressed or eat lunch, but I wanted to send out a quick update to those who check this site.We have now been in our new house for 1 month and 5 days. It's gone by so fast and I feel like we have barely begin to scratch the surface of everything we hope to do. In general, most of the painting is done. We just have several touch-ups to do and a bit that needs to be finished. We hope to add crown moulding to our great room as well. Our back yard was given to us as a big mound of dirt and we really want to get it landscaped. That's a matter of time and money, though. Our garage is getting closer and closer to being completely finished. We are having a garage sale tomorrow which should help get things more in order and give us some extra funds. For our anniversary, I splurged and bought Jesse a whole garage tool area. He got a shelving unit, a work table, a pegboard, power drill, 18-piece wrench set, 3-piece plier set, level, tape measure, and hammer. Most of this was all Craftsman (only the best for my favorite guy) and a nice starter set for him. He was REALLY surprised. I'm still waiting on my diamond wedding band for my present :-)Speaking of our anniversary, we will be celebrating our first in only 10 days!!! I can't believe it's gone by so quickly. We are hoping to celebrate it by going to Seattle and spending the weekend there. I've never been there and Jesse's only been a couple of times. It's a reasonable distance away and has a lot to see.In other news, Jesse finished his football season last Saturday. It was their first playoff game after an undefeated season and a first round bye in the playoffs. Unfortunately, they lost the game by merely 1 points. And Jesse also got hurt just before half time, pulling his hamstring really bad. He had hurt it a few weeks earlier and was sore for a day or two but had been fine since. However, at this game, he ran in such a way that made it pop and he was in so much pain. I saw him limping off the field and took off down the bleachers to meet him on the sideline and find out what was wrong. He collapsed to the ground on his back holding his leg in pain. It scared me a bit, but after having the EMT look at it and ice it up, he quickly was able to walk on it again, albeit with a limp. In the following days, though, he has returned to normal. And while it was a sucky way to end the season, we're both pretty relieved it's over.On the baby front, we are still having difficulties having a baby. We've now reached our 10th cycle in a 7 month time period. Most doctors consider a couple to have infertility problems after a year of trying. And I believe that 12 cycles is sufficient to put me there, so by August 8th, we will have reached that time. Because that's really only a month and half away, and because of our constant discouragement and fear of the unknown, we have decided to seek some extra consultation from a doctor. We plan on seeing our family doctor again soon to see what tests can be done right now and what steps we need to take if we don't conceive soon. In addition, I have recently began talking to a nurse at the reproductive center in Portland who, so far, has said that we could begin consultations and testings.And, finally, Jesse and I are both in the process of looking for new jobs. I have applied for several nanny jobs, a teaching assistant job at a local elem. school, and as a secretary at the hospital. None of these have led anywhere yet. I'm just looking for something more full-time that would provide extra income while fitting in with our schedules and my talents, etc. I have no idea where it's going to take me. Jesse, meanwhile, has decided to pursue the possibility of being an electrician. I believe he has to apply in July, take some aptitude tests, and if he is accepted, he will begin an apprenticeship program for the next 4 years. Meanwhile, Jesse and I have been asked to represent our church at a local seminar which addresses Christianity in today's culture. We would be trained to come back and lead small groups in our church. We are really excited about this seminar (after going to the introduction last night) and feel that God may be leading us to have small groups for teenagers in the future. The seminar isn't until the end of Sept, however, so there is quite a bit of time to prepare and see where God takes it all.Ok. I REALLY have to go now. Still not dressed. Still hungry. Down to 30 minutes left before work!!! Also, I guess I lied about the short thing, huh?! Who knew I could type so fast?!!!

Big Changes

To start off, I will update everyone on the status of our new house. We are scheduled to be out of our apartment by this Thursday (May 15th) and our house is supposed to close by then. We are still waiting to sign the final papers, which will probably happen tomorrow (Monday) or Tuesday and then we should get the keys to the house by Tuesday or Wednesday. It makes for one very hectic week!!! I have to finish packing and get everything moved in to the house within a couple of days. I originally wanted to paint the walls before everything got moved in, but I don't think I'll have the time. In addition, my co-worker Delynne is gone in Las Vegas the whole week, so I can't take off work on such short notice. And, this week is particularly crazy at the Teen Center because the Spring Prom for the middle-schoolers is this week and I am the only one that has experience in selling tickets- particularly important because there will be people coming in and out of the building all week to buy tickets and the phone will probably be ringing off of the hook! So, to compensate, Jesse will probably take a little time off of work so that we can sign the papers earlier in the day and move everything in in one day. And I'll be painting and unpacking during the morning hours before going to work each day, and then finish the day with Jesse helping. I can't wait to make the house our own and will be proud to show it off online and have several house-warming parties!!!On another note, I graduated yesterday!!! After 18 consecutive years of school, and 5 months out, I returned to my now alma mater, donned in my cap and gown to cross the stage and receive my fake diploma (since I already received the real one in the mail). At first I thought that maybe it wasn't worth it to have waited 5 months for the ceremony- maybe I should've just done the December ceremony instead. However, once I got there and walked through the baccalaureate with my old friends, I realized how proud I was to be there. There were 91 students receiving Associates, Bachelors, and Masters degrees combined, all in 1 ceremony. And there were roughly 9 of us receiving a Bachelors of Arts degree in Psychology. I got to sit by, and walk across the stage with, my closest fellow students- those that shared my psychology classes for more than 3 years. In addition, for years there had been large tree in the courtyard of the school. Everyone loved this tree and it was really common to get pictures taken in it on campus. However, the day of my wedding, they cut the tree into pieces! One guy in my class, though, took pieces of the tree and carved wooden cross necklaces out of it for each one of the psychology graduates. On each one is engraved "NCC 08". It means a lot to me to have this memorabilia and I now have it hanging from my rear-view mirror so that I can see it everyday. Along with Jesse, my mom, brother, cousin, and aunt attended the ceremony. It was a little disappointing that many others who were invited didn't show, but I'm thankful for those who did. It's nice to have my family there supporting me during my big life events.In other news, Jesse's football games have been going really well. His team is ranked #1 and are currently undefeated with only 2 more games of the season. His next game is this Saturday @ 6pm at Churchill High here in Eugene. The next week his team has a bye, and the following week they will play in Medford. I am quite certain they will make it to the championship playoffs, though, which results in 3 more subsequent games. It's been a challenge for Jesse this season. It's nothing like high school or college was. They currently only practice once a week and have games nearly every single week. Each away game is every other weekend and at least 3 hours away. The guys on the team also take everything really seriously. While Jesse just wants to play and have fun, his teammates often grumble and complain about everything, even when they slaughter the other team. They get really upset if Jesse messes up on snapping the ball and give him a lot of crap if he misses a game or practice due to other life situations. In addition to demanding so much of his time, this affects Jesse's attitude towards being there. He gets frustrated and questions whether he wants to continue to play next year. However, once he's out on the field, he gets so full of energy and is so pumped up to be there. It brings him back to his biggest passion that consumed most of his life. He goes back and forth about whether he'll continue to play next year, but I think that we will just have to see how things go. Right now, it's just a stressful thing when he's got so much going on in his life outside of football. I figure that when things calm down, Jesse can make a better decision about whether he really wants to play next year or not. He's done awesome this season, though, and I'm so proud of him. He plays with all of his heart and maintains a positive attitude through it all. Despite never having been into football before, and barely understanding the rules, I can't help but cheer with excitement as they score a touchdown each time.Well, it's getting late and I want to post pictures of all of these events. So here you go: