Just Another Day in Paradise: Life & Death

Today marks the 16 year anniversary of the death of Jesse's mom, Debbie. He was only 5 years old when she passed away. Jesse has very little memory of his mom. He was so young when it happened. But he often thinks of what he missed out by not having a mom in his life. Growing up with a single dad most of his young years and a strict step-mother his later years makes him wonder how his life would've been different with his mom there. And I, too, wonder what she was like. I think how much Jesse takes after her in his mannerisms and appearance, and think about what kind of mother-in-law she would be.

Last Sunday, Jim (Jesse's dad) took me & Jesse, and Michael & Kaela and their family to the grave site. He described to us what it was like to come just days before his wife's death and pick out the grave for her. In shock, in tears, and in the pouring rain, he sat underneath a nearby tree and contemplated why he was there. Since then, Jim shared with us the ways that he has seen God use the tragedy for his good. Before she was going to die, Debbie had no relationship with God, but in those last days, she accepted Christ as her Savior. Jim still could not accept that relationship for years to come, but through the consistent prayers of family members, Jim came to have a relationship with God years later. Now, Jim can say with confidence that God loved him and his kids so much that He was willing to take away his wife in order to bring him to a relationship with God. This declaration of God's love was the very reason Jim wanted to bring his sons there with their families. He wanted to remind them to carry the legacy of God's love to their wives and kids.

Despite the weather previously being nice, I stood there under the same tree Jim did years earlier, in the pouring rain, with tears streaming down my face and with my arms wrapped tightly around my husband. I couldn't imagine losing him the way my father-in-law lost his spouse, and it brings tears to my eyes now just thinking about it. However, it only convicts me stronger to embrace every day I have with him. Life is too short to worry about petty arguments and trivial problems. And while it's so easy to think that we are all invincible and that death is decades away, the truth is that you never know how long you'll be here.

It's sad that it often takes a death to remind us what life is all about, but I am comforted by God's sovereignty- to know that He's got a bigger purpose in mind behind even the most difficult things we go through.