Drama- Christmas-o-Rama!- and my Momma

(Written on Monday night)

Disclaimer: I do not write this to further family drama or to bash other people. I write this because I feel at a loss of how to respond to these people and feel overwhelmed with sorrow and anger for such an actions that displease God.

I wrote a while back about the divorce that my brother-in-law and his wife are going through. Then, on my other blog, I described some of the personal problems I was having with Kaela here and here. Since my last blog about it, not much has happened. Kaela hasn't really said any more to/about me or Jesse or our family members. However, things are still difficult between Michael and her. He tried to go to Idaho for Thanksgiving, but she wouldn't allow him to stay in the house with her and also told him that she needed money from him because she was broke. So, because he didn't have the money to pay for a hotel AND to send to her, he sent what he could and forfeited his holiday with his kids. He got here in the first couple weeks of November and has still not been able to see his kids. However, despite it being because of her that he couldn't make it, she has continued to attack him since then, not letting him forget that he missed out on the holiday with his family.

Now Michael is doing everything he can to try to make it there for Christmas. He loves his kids so much! He calls them almost every night and tells them that he loves them. And he cries any time he begins to talk about how much they mean to him. It's been over a month since he's been able to see them and I know that he really wanted to be there for Christmas with them, even though it meant spending the holiday with Kaela as well. He bought them presents and even got presents from Jesse and I and from his aunt and uncle to take with him. He was planning on leaving this Wednesday on the Greyhound bus. However, as the weather has gotten worse, he has been on the phone with the stations trying to make sure that he will be able to make it to Idaho. For those who don't know, all modes of transportation, including the airports, bus stations, and trains are closed/delayed because of feet of snow that has hit the northwest. Springfield is just wet right now. The snow we had last week has cleared out, but the big cities nearby, like Portland, Seattle, and Boise are snowed in. So, because the bus may not be able to make it to Idaho, Jesse and I offered his truck to Michael to drive. It needs one part on it fixed, but between that, tire chains, and gas, Michael should be able to get there cheaper than the bus ticket.

Today, however, Kaela called Michael upset about a bill that wasn't paid. From what I could tell in the conversation, Michael had paid it and had already worked it out with the company, but Kaela was upset because she had received a letter today saying it wasn't paid. He kept trying to explain it, but she wasn't listening. I could hear her yelling at him through the phone while I was walking around the house and Michael was in his room. He remained pretty calm through it all, just trying to make her understand. As they were discussing him coming this week, he told her that he wasn't sure about coming on the bus, but could come in the truck if he needs to, and he was explaining that he had been saving up money to be able to make it. Michael told me later, though, that she didn't want him to drive there because he might get stranded somewhere or might kill himself. She told him that he better not come at all if he was going to come in the truck. It wasn't really like she cared about his well-being, though, but more like she was trying to make up reasons to make it harder for him to come. She had told him in a previous conversation that she wasn't really ready to see him yet. I don't want to see Michael miss out on Christmas with his kids because she made it impossible for him to be there and then watch her turn it around on him and make him out to be the bad guy. I just feel awful for him. Chances are that the bus isn't going to even be able to make it to Boise, and, if it doesn't, then he can't drive the truck or she'll be mad. He could drive it and arrive without her knowing that that's how he made it, but then if she found out that he lied, things would be even worse. I tried to tell Michael that if he couldn't go this week, he could still go in a few weeks (if the weather is any better) and have Christmas with his kids then. Kaela had told him that he could come in February for their son's first birthday if he didn't come for Christmas. But there's no reason why he should have to wait until then. So, now he is really stuck and doesn't know what to do. He wants to see his kids, especially on Christmas, but he doesn't know how to get there at all, let alone without making things worse with her.

And then, to top it all off, after this happened, Kaela's mom, Krissy, posted this comment (I apologize for the inappropriate nature of it) on her myspace profile: “Krissy is thanking god the idiot returned to his village and got the hell out of the smart, honest peoples lives. And HE can take his dumbass relatives with him!!!”

When I read it, I decided that I didn't want her on my friend's list anymore. There's no reason for her to say something like that about Michael or his family. But just as I went to delete her off of my list, she deleted me. So, I guess the feeling was mutual.

Now, I just feel at a loss. More than the anger I feel towards Kaela and Krissy for acting like that, I feel sorry for Michael for having to be in the front line of it all. While he's more than welcome to be a part of my family's Christmas celebration, his heart is with his kids and I hate that he's missing out on that because of other people's selfishness and bitterness.

I guess I just need to spend some time in prayer. God is the only one who can change people's hearts and, also, change the weather. He can make everything work out exactly as it should.

I just need to get all of that off of my chest. Jesse told me that he thinks we just need to move on and forget about Kaela and her family as a part of our lives. He said that we've got a lot going on in our lives and a lot to be thankful about and we don't need the drama. I agree 100%, but I struggle because Michael can't do the same thing. And it's not so much that I am personally offended as much as my heart just goes out to him for being stuck in the middle of it.

Aside from that, on a great note, we are gearing up to celebrate the holiday. I love Christmas and everything the season brings, and I am excited to be able to spend this one knowing that we've received the greatest gift Jesse and I could ask for. We spent all of this last weekend doing last minute shopping. I am so excited about spoiling Jesse rotten. I can't say on here (for security reasons) what I got him yet. But he is getting way more than he expected and they are some really big gifts. I already got my big gift from him. He bought me a second wedding band (one for the top and one for the bottom). It's exactly what I wanted. Also, on all of the presents, I was able to sign, "From Jesse, Mandy, & Baby", which was really neat for me. The biggest update I have on the baby is that it is now developing its brain and digestive organs and facial features! It is right around 6 mm big. Also, where the little arms and legs budded last week, are now turning into flippers. I go in the morning to have my next blood test, which I'm really excited about. This number means so much. It should be over 1000 which will mean that our ultrasound will be ordered tomorrow! I can't wait for that! If it's less than 1000 then it could indicate that something is wrong, but I believe that God has big plans for this baby so I'm not worrying about it.

I only work tomorrow and then have 5 days off. Jesse works a half a day Wednesday and then has 4 more days off. We're excited about the time off and the holiday celebration during it. We've got 4 Christmas parties to attend this week and are hosting one of them at our house on Christmas Eve. Last night, we went to a Christmas choir concert in which my mom was supposed to sing a solo. However, she was going to sing it one night and another woman on the other night. The night my mom was supposed to sing, the concert got canceled because of the weather. So the director had both women sing it as a duet together last night. I was going to upload a video of it, but was having trouble. I'll try again later.